Week 39: And the Winners are....

THE OFFICE FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

CHAMPIONS

2008

Big Mac's Mingmongs

Neil McConaghy

===================================

THE OFFL CUP FINAL

-----------------------------------

TriumphAnt 17 v 13 Livercoolio

[Ant Reeves] [Russ Bielby]

Well there we have it. It's all over. We can't be bothered with an end of season montage of all the best bits of the season. We're too exhausted. It's been a long one.

One that has finished with all Managers offering their congratulations to Neil McConaghy whose Big Mac's Mingmongs nearly passed the 500 point mark in their league victory. They win the Championship by a clear 17 points from Livercoolio who also just miss out on Cup glory to TriumphAnt.

TriumphAnt are indeed triumphant [pictured right]. And have therefore won the Shoot Annual. Congratulations Mr Reeves. Four points in it. That'll be those last minute transfers then.

And commiserations to Russ Bielby. Poor, poor Russ Bielby. So close. But twice a loser.

At the bottom, Rudolf Huckers managed to finally escape the wooden spoon by the bark of their teeth, scoring a Manager of the Week certificate winning 25 points, and lifting themselves off the bottom of the table for the first time all season.

So let's have a look at how our managers fared in the Manager of the Week certificate winning league... an entry into the Inter Toto Cup beckons.

MotW Table
We have a clear winner, the Pride of Wales, ...

1 Martyn Field (5)

2 Neil McConaghy (3)

2 Steve Tierney (3)

4 Alfred Bradley (2)

4 Francis Fox (2)

4 Mark and Maddy Weavers (2)

4 Matt Waldron (2)

4 Minty Colquhoun (2)

4 Rob Ivison (2)

4 Russ Bielby (2)

4 Sarah-Jane John (2)

12 Alan Betteridge (1)

12 Ant Reeves (1)

12 Edgar Rayner (1)

12 Gavin Ward (1)

12 Guy Harewood (1)

12 Hilary Straw (1)

12 Kate Wilson (1)

12 Mark Faulkner (1)

12 Mike Smears (1)

12 Oscar Bradley (1)

12 Paddy Mirams (1)

12 Smasher (1)

Other Useless StatsPick of the Season, based on Pts/£, is an Everton player this year. And a defender to boot. Step forward Mr J Lescott.

254 CB J Lescott EVE £4.0 62

397 MF C Ronaldo MU £7.3 107

308 MF A Young AV £4.1 56

299 MF C Fabregas ARS £4.5 55

457 ST E Adebayor ARS £6.6 80

312 MF G Barry AV £4.0 46

474 ST R Santa Cruz BLA £6.3 70

146 FB G Clichy ARS £4.5 49

267 CB W Brown MU £4.7 51

498 ST F Torres LIV £7.4 80

So congratulations if you picked any of these little blighters. Really though, it's about the points. As many as possible. So here are the top OFFL scorers in the Premiership League.

Top Scorers

397 MF C Ronaldo MU £7.3 107

457 ST E Adebayor ARS £6.6 80

498 ST F Torres LIV £7.4 80

474 ST R Santa Cruz BLA £6.3 70

535 ST D Berbatov TOT £7.7 65

254 CB J Lescott EVE £4.0 62

510 ST W Rooney MU £8.7 62

537 ST R Keane TOT £6.8 57

308 MF A Young AV £4.1 56

299 MF C Fabregas ARS £4.5 55

Strikers

457 ST E Adebayor ARS £6.6 80

498 ST F Torres LIV £7.4 80

474 ST R Santa Cruz BLA £6.3 70

535 ST D Berbatov TOT £7.7 65

510 ST W Rooney MU £8.7 62

537 ST R Keane TOT £6.8 57

485 ST C Tevez WH £7.2 54

509 ST Yakubu MID £6.9 53

463 ST G Agbonlahor AV £6.1 51

528 ST Benjani POR £5.7 48

Midfielders

397 MF C Ronaldo MU £7.3 107

308 MF A Young AV £4.1 56

299 MF C Fabregas ARS £4.5 55

369 MF S Gerrard LIV £5.2 54

342 MF F Lampard CHE £6.7 50

312 MF G Barry AV £4.0 46

384 MF Elano MC £3.8 40

380 MF M Petrov MC £3.5 37

388 MF S Downing MID £3.9 36

324 MF D Bentley BLA £4.3 36

362 MF S Davies FUL £3.6 31

Centre Backs

254 CB J Lescott EVE £4.0 62

270 CB R Ferdinand MU £5.0 54

269 CB N Vidic MU £5.1 53

267 CB W Brown MU £4.7 51

556 CB Alex CHE £5.1 44

259 CB J Carragher LIV £5.1 43

253 CB P Jagielka EVE £4.0 39

228 CB W Gallas ARS £4.6 38

243 CB J Terry CHE £5.7 37

244 CB R Carvalho CHE £5.4 35

Full Backs

146 FB G Clichy ARS £4.5 49

561 FB J Belletti CHE £5.0 49

193 FB P Evra MU £4.9 48

164 FB G Johnson CHE £4.8 42

163 FB A Cole CHE £5.1 39

148 FB B Sagna ARS £4.3 38

209 FB H Hreidarsson POR £3.7 32

179 FB A Arbeloa LIV £4.7 31

196 FB Geremi NEW £3.8 29

180 FB S Finnan LIV £5.2 29

Goalkeepers

122 GK J Reina LIV £4.6 48

118 GK T Howard EVE £3.8 38

129 GK E van der Sar MU £4.5 38

114 GK P Cech CHE £5.0 38

136 GK D James POR £3.7 32

102 GK M Almunia ARS £4.1 29

128 GK T Kuszczak MU £4.2 15

113 GK C Cudicini CHE £4.4 15

137 GK C Kirkland WIG £3.3 13

121 GK S Carson LIV £4.4 13

Week 38: The Penultimate Week

As his correspondence will confirm, Francis Fox is losing his marbles. He firstly forgets to enter a team. Then he forgets to enter a team before the first round of the OFFL Cup. THEN he starts bemoaning the fact he didn't pick a particular player. And then, of course, he realises that, in fact, he did pick that particular player after all.

It's not the first time his sentience has gone somewhat awry. And neither, we’re sure, will it be the last. There are plenty of seasons left in the old boy after all. But it is this season that has seen Fox's Rudolph Huckers in last place ever since their arrival. And with one more week to go, the Huckers lie a mere 5 points adrift. The big question is 'will they avoid the wooden spoon?'. The small accompanying question is 'can the Studmarks team squeeze anymore mock excitement out of this particular stone of newsworthlessness?'.

If the levels of excitement over the last few weeks are anything to go by, we're certain the answer to both those questions is 'no'.

Meanwhile, up at the top of the league, Livercoolio are trying desperately to lunge for the line. They've knocked another 10 points off Big Mac's lead leaving another 10 points to make up. If the scores are level after the final week then we add up the values of all players past and present to determine the Points Per Pound difference over the whole season. In this case, Livercoolio would nick it [£106.2m < £118m].

Manager of the Week this week is Sarah-Jane John whose Johnny's Heroes reaped a stunningly adequate score of 27 points, securing [surely] mid-table mediocrity for the season.

And right now, this week, the final week, we're playing...

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OFFL Cup

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Final
Week 39

TriumphAnt[Ant Reeves] £54.5m v £54.6m Livercoolio[Russ Bielby]

It is, actually, quite exciting after all.

Week 37:

Spying high we can see that Livercoolio continues to hone in on the Double. Narrowing the gap at the top to just 20 points, with only 2 rounds of league fixtures to go, it still doesn't look that likely. Which is why we're all staring at the OFFL Cup for blessed relief.

OFFL Cup
Final
Week 39

TriumphAnt v Livercoolio
[Ant Reeves] [Russ Bielby]

Manager of the Week is Alan Batteridge for his 8 point juice-squeeze from this week's Premiership fruit. Vonder Bramen benefits.

Highest climber, however, with an ascent of four places is Radnorshire Tigers who now looks out across the fantasy horizon from the lofty heights of twenty-third.

Week 36: OFFL Cup Semi-Final Results

Managers of the Week are Ant Reeves and, yet again, Martyn Field. Both managers' teams score 19 points.

More significantly however...

OFFL Cup
Semi-Finals, Fixtures
Results, Week 36

Waldron's Wanderers 1 v 15 Livercoolio

TriumphAnt 19 v 16 Wonka FC

This sets up an incredibly exciting final between Livercoolio and TriumphAnt. Both managed, respectively, by larger-than-life characters, Russ 'Russell Crowe in Gladiator' Bielby and Ant 'Nothing like Keanu' Reeves.

The final is to be played in Week 39.

Week 35

It's the squeaky part of the season according to Steve 'Great Face for Radio' Bruce.

And for us that means that time is running out for our Manager of the Week, Russ Bielby whose charges, Livercoolio, notched up a massive 29 points plonking them into a very strong second place in the league. This leaves a mere 24 points between themselves and Neil 'Surely He's Got It Sewn Up' McConaghy's Big Macs Mingmongs.

So, we have a new 'Can He Do The Double' man in our midst. Russ Bielby. The season could yet be his.

OFFL Cup
Semi-Finals, fixtures, to be played

Waldron's Wanderers Matt Waldron	v	Livercoolio Russ Bielby
TriumphAnt Ant Reeves	v	Wonka FC Neil Keefe

Yours,

The OFFL 'Exhausted By The Excitement' Headquarters

Week 34: OFFL Semi-Finals

With over a month of fixtures left in the Premiership calendar we can see that a rather wide gap needs to be bridged. Yes, Rudolf Huckers are 27pts behind Book My Face FC and have been bottom of the league ever since joining us very late in the day. In fact, Francis Fox entered his team so late in the day that he didn't even make the OFFL Cup First Round. Which means his only objective for the season has been to not finish bottom. Which is where he's currently on target to finish. Shame. Shame.

Manager of the Week this week is Gavin Ward with his Marauding Metatarsals. His team of mediocre miscreants knocked together a respectable score of 22 points. Meanwhile, Oscar Bradley celebrated his Christening with weekly tally of minus 2. Shame. Shame.

Happy Birthday to Ant Reeves by the way, let's see who he's been drawn against in his OFFL Cup Semi-final...

OFFL Cup
Semi-Finals, fixtures, to be played

Waldron's Wanderers Matt Waldron	v	Livercoolio Russ Bielby
TriumphAnt Ant Reeves	v	Wonka FC Neil Keefe

Week 33: OFFL Cup Quarter-Finals Results

Manager of the Week is Minty 'Always Moaning About Bent Being Bench Bound Every Bloody Blinkin' Week' Colquhoun. I know, it’s a name you couldn't make up. 24 points earns Upmintster United's Manager the certificate [not supplied] at last.

However, it's the Cup we're all talking about. Wondering if the seemingly inevitable has, in fact, been realised...

Sigh.

OFFL Cup

Quarter Finals, Results

Marauding Metatarsals '07	14	v	22	TriumphAnt
Abeerden	11	v	20	Livercoolio
Big Mac's Mingmongs	9	v	15	Wonka FC
Waldron's Wanderers	20	v	9	Olymping Macdrid

Amazing. The League's first and second placings get dumped out of the cup by their nearest rivals. Meanwhile, two Real-Sense boys make it through to the next round - a fine show from arguably the best Warehouse in Derby brand of football in the world.

Congratulations to Ant Reeves, Russ Bielby, Neil Keefe and Matt Waldron who make it through to the Semi-Finals of the Cup. They can just about smell the lacquered hard back of that Shoot Annual.

Week 32: Quarter-Final Build Up

Manager of the Week is Martyn Field whose Sheep City scored a massive 27 points.

And this week coming, don't forget, sees the quarter-finals of the OFFL Cup being played out.

Lined up to be...

Marauding Metatarsals '07 v TriumphAnt

|Gavin Ward| |Ant Reeves|

Abeerden v Livercoolio

|Steve Tierney| |Russell Bielby|

Big Mac's Mingmongs v Wonka FC

|Neil McConaghy| |Neil Keefe|

Waldron's Wanderers v Olymping Macdrid

|Matt Waldron| |Craig McHugh|

In other words that's

16th v 12th
2nd v 4th
1st v 3rd
5th v 24th

How exciting is this?

Week 31: Needles

The Chairman is face down dribbling onto the lino' again. The pins and needles have been replaced with just needles. Dr Yuetmui Chung's needles to be precise. With the recent passing of the 400 point mark by Neil McConaghy's Big Mac's Mingmongs, Our Holistic High Chairman has sort an even higher plane of well-being by trying out Dr Chung's Acupuncture credentials. Obviously this is a celebratory move aimed at commemorating McConaghy's achievement at such an early stage of the season.

Indeed the Champions Elect, as they look over their shoulder to see how well the competition is doing behind them, spy not even a chasing pack - which, as it happens, is sixty odd points behind a hill in the distance. The Mingmongs could even stop for a breather if they wanted, rest for a moment, handvisor their forehead to level their sight onto the horizon to just about make out the lone lanky figure of Steve Tierney, fist raised in the air, aimed and shaking at the runaway leader.

McConaghy could even afford to shrug his broad Welsh shoulders before continuing on trotting his seemingly unchallenged way to the Title.

There's no point carrying on really.

Acupuncture anyone?

Manager of the Week is Edinburgh's Rob Ivison whose Wife#3 netted 29 points and whose Son#1 burst into tears the very moment he caught sight of the Chairman at his front door in Morningside last week. 29 points, eh? That Frank Lampard doing most of the leg work as usual I suppose. Well done Frank. I mean Rob. Are we allowed to talk about the Astronomy business yet without spitting blood? Why not turn your hand to Astrology? Same business really isn’t it?

Cough.

Ooh, everyone... don’t forget, the OFFL Cup... Neil can't have this one in the bag too can he?

OFFL Cup

Quarter-Finals, Fixtures

To be played in Week 33

Marauding Metatarsals '07 Gavin Ward	v	TriumphAnt Ant Reeves
Abeerden Steve Tierney	v	Livercoolio Russ Bielby
Big Mac's Mingmongs Neil McConaghy	v	Wonka FC Neil Keefe
Waldron's Wanderers Matt Waldron	v	Olymping Macdrid Craig McHugh

At least we can rest assured that there will be a Neil in the next round.

Week 30: OFFL Quarter-Finals Fixtures

Manager of the Week is Hilary Straw. 34 points. Launches her team, Straw Bucharest, into the top ten.

And while Pompey have practically won the FA Cup already, we look at how far Neil McConaghy's Big Macs have to go before he claims the Double.

OFFL Cup

Marauding Metatarsals '07		v	TriumphAnt
Abeerden		v	Livercoolio
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v	Wonka FC
Waldron's Wanderers		v	Olymping Macdrid

Week 29: OFFL Cup Results

Not that life at the top of the OFFL table is getting stressful but there is definitely a distinct odour of desperation being distributed up there.

Inter Milandrover have rendered themselves spent far too prematurely again and Steve Tierney's Abeerden have just slapped the OFFL fetlocks with their last wad of transfers too. With the clock tick tocking its way through the weeks, there's not much room for error and a Mr McConaghy is already beginning to ask himself if he can do The Double. A feat only ever achieved once before. And that was by, yes, Steve Tierney, currently Mr McConaghy's closest rival [both pictured right].

Managers of the Week include the aged and decrepit Kate Wilson and the sensationally beautiful and sexy Mike Smears, irrespectively. Both managers steer their team to a healthy 19 points.

AND NOW..... [sponsored by Real-Sense]

The OFFL Cup

Waldron's Wanderers	15	v	2	Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes	3	v	16	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs	16	v	-1	Lionel FC
Windmill United	6	v	7	Livercoolio
West Vam	8	v	9	Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC	9	v	3	Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg	10	v	12	Abeerden
RS T-Boy	6	v	9	TriumphAnt

And what a match we had on our hands with Bielby's Livercoolio only just pipping colleague Walsh's Windmill United by a point to go through to the Quarter-Finals of the OFFL Cup. Sweeter news still for Mr Bielby is that another colleague, and nemesis, Rick Beecroft has crashed out of the cup after losing by just 3 points to an enormous ground-dwelling insect with an oil leak.

[Do you see what I did there? Do you?]

Congratulations then, go to Matt Waldron, Gavin Ward, Neil McConaghy, Russ Bielby, Craig McHugh, Neil Keefe, Steve Tierney, Ant Reeves.

Week 28

Week 29 is upon us. And no-one in the cup has had the sense to do some Irish re-jigging in their effort to gain the Shoot Annual, this year's glamorous prize for lifting the trophy. Plenty of top teams still in there fighting it out with particular interest in Livercoolio's visit to Windmill Utd.

Meanwhile, we're two months into the year with a slipped disc and a new rear still preventing Our Wonderful Chairman from vertically and confidently stepping outside into the Great British climate that currently seems to be chasing Spring. This means He is unable to personally present Livercoolio's Russell Bielby with his second Manager of the Week Certificate of the season, for a score of 25 points.

We at Studmarks aren't really sure if anyone cares either way if we're honest.

But that's a pretty big if.

And as we consider that, this is what's happening...

OFFL Cup

Round Three, Fixtures
To be played in Week 29

Waldron's Wanderers		v		Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes		v		Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v		Lionel FC
Windmill United		v		Livercoolio
West Vam		v		Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC		v		Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg		v		Abeerden
RS T-Boy		v		TriumphAnt

Happy Birthday to Steve Tierney

Week 26: OFFL Draw for Round Three

There's been some good news and some bad news for Mark Faulkner (pictured left) this week. The good news is that his team's 16 point haul gives him his first Manager of the Week Certificate. The bad news is that it finally brings critical attention to his curiously spelled team name.

In the meantime, Alex Blundell's extremely late Moanchester Disunited have leapfrogged Beginning-Of-The-Season-Entrant Ashley Keeler's Book My Face. How long before the Rudolph Huckers of Francis Fox pass by the BMFers?

Highest Climbers are Faulkner's Al-Quaida and Alun Edwards' Radnorshire Tigers for each elevating a fine five places

OFFL Cup
Round Three, Week 29

Waldron's Wanderers	v	Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes	v	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs	v	Lionel FC
Windmill United	v	Livercoolio
West Vam	v	Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC	v	Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg	v	Abeerden
RS T-Boy	v	TriumphAnt

Derby's Real-Sense.com domination of the OFFL Cup suffers a blow as RS boys Walsh and Bielby go head-to-head while Waldron and Beecroft are drawn against high flying Guy Harewood's Bangkok Burn and Ant Reeves's TriumphAnt respectfully.

Week 25: Cup Knockout Results

For some, the cup has lost much of its romance. For others, well, they haven't been knocked out yet. They're still in with a chance of winning the Shoot Annual.

And while Dennis Wise joins Kevin Keegan in the Newfarcical United set-up [pictured right] we can see that, just as comically, Gavin Ward has become Manager of the Week.

Yes, 38 points gained by Gavin's Marauding Metatarsals means that his team are also highest climbers by clawing up the table seven places. David Brentford FC, however, drunkenly slam against a wall and fall down six before falling into a deep snore-filled sleep.

It's going to hurt in the morning.

OFFL Cup

Round Two, Results

Bangkok Burn FC	37	v	9	Jordan United
Decimated Left Peg	27	v	23	Inter Milandrover
Alfletico Madrid	23	v	38	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Tat Mucker	4	v	21	Radnorshire Tigers
FC Pratto	15	v	34	Wonka FC
Big Mac's Mingmongs	25	v	15	Wife #3
Dube Stars FC	5	v	24	Windmill United
Top of the Norm	13	v	31	Livercoolio
Lionel FC	37	v	11	Muffins Revenge
West Vam	20	v	14	Straw Bucharest
RS T-Boy	25	v	12	Better Late Than Never!
Abeerden	31	v	12	Moanchester Disunited
Irishpool	18	v	23	TriumphAnt
David Brentford FC	4	v	25	Johnny's Heroes
Waldron's Wanderers	27	v	18	Sheep City
Al-Quaida	11	v	28	Olymping Macdrid

The big hitters seemed to have survived, apart from Inter Milandrover whose nail-biting defeat to Neil Jukes's Decimated Left Peg has left the fantasy world agog. Likewise Tom Vamos's West Vam's progression to the next round.

Congratulations therefore to: Guy Harewood, Neil Jukes, Gavin Ward, Alun Edwards, Neil Keefe, Neil McConaghy, Chris Walsh, Russell Bielby, Lionel Larking, Tom Vamos, Rick Beecroft, Steve Tierney, Ant Reeves, Sarah-Jane John, Matt Waldron and Craig McHugh

Week 24: OFFL Cup Knockout Commences

Manager of the Week, somehow again, is Martyn Field with his Sheep City notching up a massive 4 points, leaving highest climbers Top of the Norm to shin up four places.

Oh yeah, you're playing. You're playing!...

Bangkok Burn FC		v		Jordan United
Decimated Left Peg		v		Inter Milandrover
Alfletico Madrid		v		Marauding Metatarsals '07
Tat Mucker		v		Radnorshire Tigers
FC Pratto		v		Wonka FC
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v		Wife #3
Dube Stars FC		v		Windmill United
Top of the Norm		v		Livercoolio
Lionel FC		v		Muffins Revenge
West Vam		v		Straw Bucharest
RS T-Boy		v		Better Late Than Never!
Abeerden		v		Moanchester Disunited
Irishpool		v		TriumphAnt
David Brentford FC		v		Johnny's Heroes
Waldron's Wanderers		v		Sheep City
Al-Quaida		v		Olymping Macdrid

Week 23: Transfertastic

The gap gets smaller between the top two teams while the chasing pack start to drop off the pace.

Manager of the Week this week is Francis Fox - his team of Rudolf Huckers knock in an impressive 22 points to see themselves remain bottom [for the time being]. Highest Climber however is Mark Norman's Top of the Norm who shoot up four places leaving them still quite a while away from being able to replace the word 'Norm' with 'Table' in their name.

And finally, the African Cup of Nations coupled with the January Transfer Window has seen many of you managers attempt some personnel reshuffling. And so, right now, let me introduce some of your comedy turns...

Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a huge welcome to the stage for... [cut!]

Week 22: OFFL Cup Knockout Fixtures Announced - Nobody Really Cares.

Manager of the Week is Steve Tierney with his Abeerden catching a large 26 point haul for the week.

Meanwhile we welcome a new manager, Francis Fox. His Rudolf Huckers re-enter the league with no hope of winning anything, yet plenty of promise in catching Ashley Keeler's Book My Face FC.

And while people discuss whether or not it's too soon for an inexperienced Shearer to join Keegan in managing Newcastle United, I realise that nobody actually pays any attention to this drivel do they?

I'll get me coat.

Paddy Mirams, falling, falling, falling. Minus 3, down eight.

OFFL Cup
Round Two, Knockout Competition
Fixtures, to be played in Week 25 [28th Jan - 3rd Feb]

Bangkok Burn FC		v		Jordan United
Decimated Left Peg		v		Inter Milandrover
Alfletico Madrid		v		Marauding Metatarsals '07
Tat Mucker		v		Radnorshire Tigers
FC Pratto		v		Wonka FC
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v		Wife #3
Dube Stars FC		v		Windmill United
Top of the Norm		v		Livercoolio
Lionel FC		v		Muffins Revenge
West Vam		v		Straw Bucharest
RS T-Boy		v		Better Late Than Never!
Abeerden		v		Moanchester Disunited
Irishpool		v		TriumphAnt
David Brentford FC		v		Johnny's Heroes
Waldron's Wanderers		v		Sheep City
Al-Quaida		v		Olymping Macdrid

If Then Else
In the event of a draw then the team with the better Points Per Pound ratio goes through. If this fails to produce a winner then we count the number of goals scored by the players. If that fails to divide the opponents then it's the team with the highest league position that goes through.

Week 21: OFFL Cup Knockout Stage Complete

As the credits roll on yet another annual broadcast of Muppets in Space, Our Chairman sinks happily back into his love seat, legs asplay over each arm, pop corn falling from his slobbering mouth. And while he daydreams of Miss Piggy in that outfit she wore in the scene where she falls down the stairs in the Muppet house [about a third of the way through] he starts to slip into a fantasy filled doze.

He is only woken by a brave little umpa lumpa telling him to attend to the end of the group stages of the OFFL Cup. And while Gonzo, unlike E.T., decides against leaving his Muppet friends on Earth for a life with his own kind, some of you will be forced to face up to being left behind with the other failed muppet managers as the great big flashing happy Space Ship of OFFL Cup Success lifts off without you.

Anyone want to phone home?

[*Andy Straw attempts to hide his throbbing glowing finger behind his back with an embarrassed grin*]

Manager of the Week is Neil McConaghy of Big Mac's Mongmongs with a score of 25.