Week 28

Week 29 is upon us. And no-one in the cup has had the sense to do some Irish re-jigging in their effort to gain the Shoot Annual, this year's glamorous prize for lifting the trophy. Plenty of top teams still in there fighting it out with particular interest in Livercoolio's visit to Windmill Utd.

Meanwhile, we're two months into the year with a slipped disc and a new rear still preventing Our Wonderful Chairman from vertically and confidently stepping outside into the Great British climate that currently seems to be chasing Spring. This means He is unable to personally present Livercoolio's Russell Bielby with his second Manager of the Week Certificate of the season, for a score of 25 points.

We at Studmarks aren't really sure if anyone cares either way if we're honest.

But that's a pretty big if.

And as we consider that, this is what's happening...

OFFL Cup

Round Three, Fixtures
To be played in Week 29

Waldron's Wanderers		v		Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes		v		Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v		Lionel FC
Windmill United		v		Livercoolio
West Vam		v		Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC		v		Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg		v		Abeerden
RS T-Boy		v		TriumphAnt

Happy Birthday to Steve Tierney

Week 26: OFFL Draw for Round Three

There's been some good news and some bad news for Mark Faulkner (pictured left) this week. The good news is that his team's 16 point haul gives him his first Manager of the Week Certificate. The bad news is that it finally brings critical attention to his curiously spelled team name.

In the meantime, Alex Blundell's extremely late Moanchester Disunited have leapfrogged Beginning-Of-The-Season-Entrant Ashley Keeler's Book My Face. How long before the Rudolph Huckers of Francis Fox pass by the BMFers?

Highest Climbers are Faulkner's Al-Quaida and Alun Edwards' Radnorshire Tigers for each elevating a fine five places

OFFL Cup
Round Three, Week 29

Waldron's Wanderers	v	Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes	v	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs	v	Lionel FC
Windmill United	v	Livercoolio
West Vam	v	Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC	v	Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg	v	Abeerden
RS T-Boy	v	TriumphAnt

Derby's Real-Sense.com domination of the OFFL Cup suffers a blow as RS boys Walsh and Bielby go head-to-head while Waldron and Beecroft are drawn against high flying Guy Harewood's Bangkok Burn and Ant Reeves's TriumphAnt respectfully.

Week 25: Cup Knockout Results

For some, the cup has lost much of its romance. For others, well, they haven't been knocked out yet. They're still in with a chance of winning the Shoot Annual.

And while Dennis Wise joins Kevin Keegan in the Newfarcical United set-up [pictured right] we can see that, just as comically, Gavin Ward has become Manager of the Week.

Yes, 38 points gained by Gavin's Marauding Metatarsals means that his team are also highest climbers by clawing up the table seven places. David Brentford FC, however, drunkenly slam against a wall and fall down six before falling into a deep snore-filled sleep.

It's going to hurt in the morning.

OFFL Cup

Round Two, Results

Bangkok Burn FC	37	v	9	Jordan United
Decimated Left Peg	27	v	23	Inter Milandrover
Alfletico Madrid	23	v	38	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Tat Mucker	4	v	21	Radnorshire Tigers
FC Pratto	15	v	34	Wonka FC
Big Mac's Mingmongs	25	v	15	Wife #3
Dube Stars FC	5	v	24	Windmill United
Top of the Norm	13	v	31	Livercoolio
Lionel FC	37	v	11	Muffins Revenge
West Vam	20	v	14	Straw Bucharest
RS T-Boy	25	v	12	Better Late Than Never!
Abeerden	31	v	12	Moanchester Disunited
Irishpool	18	v	23	TriumphAnt
David Brentford FC	4	v	25	Johnny's Heroes
Waldron's Wanderers	27	v	18	Sheep City
Al-Quaida	11	v	28	Olymping Macdrid

The big hitters seemed to have survived, apart from Inter Milandrover whose nail-biting defeat to Neil Jukes's Decimated Left Peg has left the fantasy world agog. Likewise Tom Vamos's West Vam's progression to the next round.

Congratulations therefore to: Guy Harewood, Neil Jukes, Gavin Ward, Alun Edwards, Neil Keefe, Neil McConaghy, Chris Walsh, Russell Bielby, Lionel Larking, Tom Vamos, Rick Beecroft, Steve Tierney, Ant Reeves, Sarah-Jane John, Matt Waldron and Craig McHugh

Week 24: OFFL Cup Knockout Commences

Manager of the Week, somehow again, is Martyn Field with his Sheep City notching up a massive 4 points, leaving highest climbers Top of the Norm to shin up four places.

Oh yeah, you're playing. You're playing!...

Bangkok Burn FC		v		Jordan United
Decimated Left Peg		v		Inter Milandrover
Alfletico Madrid		v		Marauding Metatarsals '07
Tat Mucker		v		Radnorshire Tigers
FC Pratto		v		Wonka FC
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v		Wife #3
Dube Stars FC		v		Windmill United
Top of the Norm		v		Livercoolio
Lionel FC		v		Muffins Revenge
West Vam		v		Straw Bucharest
RS T-Boy		v		Better Late Than Never!
Abeerden		v		Moanchester Disunited
Irishpool		v		TriumphAnt
David Brentford FC		v		Johnny's Heroes
Waldron's Wanderers		v		Sheep City
Al-Quaida		v		Olymping Macdrid

Week 23: Transfertastic

The gap gets smaller between the top two teams while the chasing pack start to drop off the pace.

Manager of the Week this week is Francis Fox - his team of Rudolf Huckers knock in an impressive 22 points to see themselves remain bottom [for the time being]. Highest Climber however is Mark Norman's Top of the Norm who shoot up four places leaving them still quite a while away from being able to replace the word 'Norm' with 'Table' in their name.

And finally, the African Cup of Nations coupled with the January Transfer Window has seen many of you managers attempt some personnel reshuffling. And so, right now, let me introduce some of your comedy turns...

Ladies and Gentlemen, please give a huge welcome to the stage for... [cut!]

Week 22: OFFL Cup Knockout Fixtures Announced - Nobody Really Cares.

Manager of the Week is Steve Tierney with his Abeerden catching a large 26 point haul for the week.

Meanwhile we welcome a new manager, Francis Fox. His Rudolf Huckers re-enter the league with no hope of winning anything, yet plenty of promise in catching Ashley Keeler's Book My Face FC.

And while people discuss whether or not it's too soon for an inexperienced Shearer to join Keegan in managing Newcastle United, I realise that nobody actually pays any attention to this drivel do they?

I'll get me coat.

Paddy Mirams, falling, falling, falling. Minus 3, down eight.

OFFL Cup
Round Two, Knockout Competition
Fixtures, to be played in Week 25 [28th Jan - 3rd Feb]

Bangkok Burn FC		v		Jordan United
Decimated Left Peg		v		Inter Milandrover
Alfletico Madrid		v		Marauding Metatarsals '07
Tat Mucker		v		Radnorshire Tigers
FC Pratto		v		Wonka FC
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v		Wife #3
Dube Stars FC		v		Windmill United
Top of the Norm		v		Livercoolio
Lionel FC		v		Muffins Revenge
West Vam		v		Straw Bucharest
RS T-Boy		v		Better Late Than Never!
Abeerden		v		Moanchester Disunited
Irishpool		v		TriumphAnt
David Brentford FC		v		Johnny's Heroes
Waldron's Wanderers		v		Sheep City
Al-Quaida		v		Olymping Macdrid

If Then Else
In the event of a draw then the team with the better Points Per Pound ratio goes through. If this fails to produce a winner then we count the number of goals scored by the players. If that fails to divide the opponents then it's the team with the highest league position that goes through.

Week 21: OFFL Cup Knockout Stage Complete

As the credits roll on yet another annual broadcast of Muppets in Space, Our Chairman sinks happily back into his love seat, legs asplay over each arm, pop corn falling from his slobbering mouth. And while he daydreams of Miss Piggy in that outfit she wore in the scene where she falls down the stairs in the Muppet house [about a third of the way through] he starts to slip into a fantasy filled doze.

He is only woken by a brave little umpa lumpa telling him to attend to the end of the group stages of the OFFL Cup. And while Gonzo, unlike E.T., decides against leaving his Muppet friends on Earth for a life with his own kind, some of you will be forced to face up to being left behind with the other failed muppet managers as the great big flashing happy Space Ship of OFFL Cup Success lifts off without you.

Anyone want to phone home?

[*Andy Straw attempts to hide his throbbing glowing finger behind his back with an embarrassed grin*]

Manager of the Week is Neil McConaghy of Big Mac's Mongmongs with a score of 25.