Week 32: Quarter-Final Build Up

Manager of the Week is Martyn Field whose Sheep City scored a massive 27 points.

And this week coming, don't forget, sees the quarter-finals of the OFFL Cup being played out.

Lined up to be...

Marauding Metatarsals '07 v TriumphAnt

|Gavin Ward| |Ant Reeves|

Abeerden v Livercoolio

|Steve Tierney| |Russell Bielby|

Big Mac's Mingmongs v Wonka FC

|Neil McConaghy| |Neil Keefe|

Waldron's Wanderers v Olymping Macdrid

|Matt Waldron| |Craig McHugh|

In other words that's

16th v 12th
2nd v 4th
1st v 3rd
5th v 24th

How exciting is this?

Week 31: Needles

The Chairman is face down dribbling onto the lino' again. The pins and needles have been replaced with just needles. Dr Yuetmui Chung's needles to be precise. With the recent passing of the 400 point mark by Neil McConaghy's Big Mac's Mingmongs, Our Holistic High Chairman has sort an even higher plane of well-being by trying out Dr Chung's Acupuncture credentials. Obviously this is a celebratory move aimed at commemorating McConaghy's achievement at such an early stage of the season.

Indeed the Champions Elect, as they look over their shoulder to see how well the competition is doing behind them, spy not even a chasing pack - which, as it happens, is sixty odd points behind a hill in the distance. The Mingmongs could even stop for a breather if they wanted, rest for a moment, handvisor their forehead to level their sight onto the horizon to just about make out the lone lanky figure of Steve Tierney, fist raised in the air, aimed and shaking at the runaway leader.

McConaghy could even afford to shrug his broad Welsh shoulders before continuing on trotting his seemingly unchallenged way to the Title.

There's no point carrying on really.

Acupuncture anyone?

Manager of the Week is Edinburgh's Rob Ivison whose Wife#3 netted 29 points and whose Son#1 burst into tears the very moment he caught sight of the Chairman at his front door in Morningside last week. 29 points, eh? That Frank Lampard doing most of the leg work as usual I suppose. Well done Frank. I mean Rob. Are we allowed to talk about the Astronomy business yet without spitting blood? Why not turn your hand to Astrology? Same business really isn’t it?

Cough.

Ooh, everyone... don’t forget, the OFFL Cup... Neil can't have this one in the bag too can he?

OFFL Cup

Quarter-Finals, Fixtures

To be played in Week 33

Marauding Metatarsals '07 Gavin Ward	v	TriumphAnt Ant Reeves
Abeerden Steve Tierney	v	Livercoolio Russ Bielby
Big Mac's Mingmongs Neil McConaghy	v	Wonka FC Neil Keefe
Waldron's Wanderers Matt Waldron	v	Olymping Macdrid Craig McHugh

At least we can rest assured that there will be a Neil in the next round.

Week 30: OFFL Quarter-Finals Fixtures

Manager of the Week is Hilary Straw. 34 points. Launches her team, Straw Bucharest, into the top ten.

And while Pompey have practically won the FA Cup already, we look at how far Neil McConaghy's Big Macs have to go before he claims the Double.

OFFL Cup

Marauding Metatarsals '07		v	TriumphAnt
Abeerden		v	Livercoolio
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v	Wonka FC
Waldron's Wanderers		v	Olymping Macdrid

Week 29: OFFL Cup Results

Not that life at the top of the OFFL table is getting stressful but there is definitely a distinct odour of desperation being distributed up there.

Inter Milandrover have rendered themselves spent far too prematurely again and Steve Tierney's Abeerden have just slapped the OFFL fetlocks with their last wad of transfers too. With the clock tick tocking its way through the weeks, there's not much room for error and a Mr McConaghy is already beginning to ask himself if he can do The Double. A feat only ever achieved once before. And that was by, yes, Steve Tierney, currently Mr McConaghy's closest rival [both pictured right].

Managers of the Week include the aged and decrepit Kate Wilson and the sensationally beautiful and sexy Mike Smears, irrespectively. Both managers steer their team to a healthy 19 points.

AND NOW..... [sponsored by Real-Sense]

The OFFL Cup

Waldron's Wanderers	15	v	2	Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes	3	v	16	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs	16	v	-1	Lionel FC
Windmill United	6	v	7	Livercoolio
West Vam	8	v	9	Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC	9	v	3	Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg	10	v	12	Abeerden
RS T-Boy	6	v	9	TriumphAnt

And what a match we had on our hands with Bielby's Livercoolio only just pipping colleague Walsh's Windmill United by a point to go through to the Quarter-Finals of the OFFL Cup. Sweeter news still for Mr Bielby is that another colleague, and nemesis, Rick Beecroft has crashed out of the cup after losing by just 3 points to an enormous ground-dwelling insect with an oil leak.

[Do you see what I did there? Do you?]

Congratulations then, go to Matt Waldron, Gavin Ward, Neil McConaghy, Russ Bielby, Craig McHugh, Neil Keefe, Steve Tierney, Ant Reeves.

Week 28

Week 29 is upon us. And no-one in the cup has had the sense to do some Irish re-jigging in their effort to gain the Shoot Annual, this year's glamorous prize for lifting the trophy. Plenty of top teams still in there fighting it out with particular interest in Livercoolio's visit to Windmill Utd.

Meanwhile, we're two months into the year with a slipped disc and a new rear still preventing Our Wonderful Chairman from vertically and confidently stepping outside into the Great British climate that currently seems to be chasing Spring. This means He is unable to personally present Livercoolio's Russell Bielby with his second Manager of the Week Certificate of the season, for a score of 25 points.

We at Studmarks aren't really sure if anyone cares either way if we're honest.

But that's a pretty big if.

And as we consider that, this is what's happening...

OFFL Cup

Round Three, Fixtures
To be played in Week 29

Waldron's Wanderers		v		Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes		v		Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs		v		Lionel FC
Windmill United		v		Livercoolio
West Vam		v		Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC		v		Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg		v		Abeerden
RS T-Boy		v		TriumphAnt

Happy Birthday to Steve Tierney

Week 26: OFFL Draw for Round Three

There's been some good news and some bad news for Mark Faulkner (pictured left) this week. The good news is that his team's 16 point haul gives him his first Manager of the Week Certificate. The bad news is that it finally brings critical attention to his curiously spelled team name.

In the meantime, Alex Blundell's extremely late Moanchester Disunited have leapfrogged Beginning-Of-The-Season-Entrant Ashley Keeler's Book My Face. How long before the Rudolph Huckers of Francis Fox pass by the BMFers?

Highest Climbers are Faulkner's Al-Quaida and Alun Edwards' Radnorshire Tigers for each elevating a fine five places

OFFL Cup
Round Three, Week 29

Waldron's Wanderers	v	Bangkok Burn FC
Johnny's Heroes	v	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Big Mac's Mingmongs	v	Lionel FC
Windmill United	v	Livercoolio
West Vam	v	Olymping Macdrid
Wonka FC	v	Radnorshire Tigers
Decimated Left Peg	v	Abeerden
RS T-Boy	v	TriumphAnt

Derby's Real-Sense.com domination of the OFFL Cup suffers a blow as RS boys Walsh and Bielby go head-to-head while Waldron and Beecroft are drawn against high flying Guy Harewood's Bangkok Burn and Ant Reeves's TriumphAnt respectfully.

Week 25: Cup Knockout Results

For some, the cup has lost much of its romance. For others, well, they haven't been knocked out yet. They're still in with a chance of winning the Shoot Annual.

And while Dennis Wise joins Kevin Keegan in the Newfarcical United set-up [pictured right] we can see that, just as comically, Gavin Ward has become Manager of the Week.

Yes, 38 points gained by Gavin's Marauding Metatarsals means that his team are also highest climbers by clawing up the table seven places. David Brentford FC, however, drunkenly slam against a wall and fall down six before falling into a deep snore-filled sleep.

It's going to hurt in the morning.

OFFL Cup

Round Two, Results

Bangkok Burn FC	37	v	9	Jordan United
Decimated Left Peg	27	v	23	Inter Milandrover
Alfletico Madrid	23	v	38	Marauding Metatarsals '07
Tat Mucker	4	v	21	Radnorshire Tigers
FC Pratto	15	v	34	Wonka FC
Big Mac's Mingmongs	25	v	15	Wife #3
Dube Stars FC	5	v	24	Windmill United
Top of the Norm	13	v	31	Livercoolio
Lionel FC	37	v	11	Muffins Revenge
West Vam	20	v	14	Straw Bucharest
RS T-Boy	25	v	12	Better Late Than Never!
Abeerden	31	v	12	Moanchester Disunited
Irishpool	18	v	23	TriumphAnt
David Brentford FC	4	v	25	Johnny's Heroes
Waldron's Wanderers	27	v	18	Sheep City
Al-Quaida	11	v	28	Olymping Macdrid

The big hitters seemed to have survived, apart from Inter Milandrover whose nail-biting defeat to Neil Jukes's Decimated Left Peg has left the fantasy world agog. Likewise Tom Vamos's West Vam's progression to the next round.

Congratulations therefore to: Guy Harewood, Neil Jukes, Gavin Ward, Alun Edwards, Neil Keefe, Neil McConaghy, Chris Walsh, Russell Bielby, Lionel Larking, Tom Vamos, Rick Beecroft, Steve Tierney, Ant Reeves, Sarah-Jane John, Matt Waldron and Craig McHugh